epic fail

-guess I should stop listing things my ideal guy should have. Coz right now, even the one who is so-not-my-type can make me fall into him. What's worse? He turns my world upside down! He keeps popping in my head! I lose my mind! Lose the control of my own self!-

I was wrong. Thought that I won't fall for you, thought that I can let you go whenever you ask or I want to. Reality hits me. Coming out of nowhere, without much warning, you make each day of my life, your smile wakes me up from my night sleep, I smell your scent everywhere I go, and happiness is simply thinking of you. My plan doesn't work out. Find out that feeling is something I can never control.


But, rather than feeling disappointed, I'm happy, grateful, even I feel hhmm, my shine gets brighter than usual. Even if we are apart, even if I turn left, and you turn right, even if I sleep when you wake up, everything works just fine. Hey, mr, thank you! I never know that falling in love would be this great, never imagine that someone who is out-of-my-type will make me madly in love with him.
My daddy once said, falling it the easiest thing to do, what matters is what happened after the falling step. We've been counting days and months this far. And for me, hhmm falling this fast doesn't feel that great. Truthfully said, I'm afraid. What if the 'easy come easy go' thing happens to me? I know I think too much, but what else I can do and what else I can think if the one who keep crossing my mind is you?


I'm tired and afraid at the same time. Truthfully, being in love is indeed so tiring, you know when my nature is actually to keep thinking about 'me' all the time, and right after I met you, my nature changes, and the one I think about, is you. When back in the days, I called a day as a good one every time I got what I really want, and now I can't call it a good day when I can't meet you or at least, feel you.


I never regret it, this kind of feeling is amazing, though. It's confusing, but it comforts me all the time, I do feel the warmness, here, in my heart. It makes an unstoppable consideration in my head, but I'm grateful at the same time because of the chance I got to understand what 'heart skips a beat' means.


You know? your presence, is enough. I mean, more than enough.
I failed, I knew I would fail, because you are, my weakness :)