18th year

So, this is me, writing while sitting properly on a chair. Knowing this is the time for minding and thinking about my 18th year of life.


...the 19th is coming so soon

One year ago, on the last day of my 17th year, I was overwhelmingly happy, I had a very good time, but sadly, I didn't get a chance to do this kind of thing of minding and thinking. The first day of my 18th, I spent it well with the people I love. Cakes, gifts, wishes, prayers, grace. Got a special surprise from my friends, played with water happily, the special thing I did next was having a heart-to-heart chat with my boy friend (boyfriend now :p) while enjoying the sunset. Not that real sunset thing we see in the beach, we just spent the whole afternoon-to-evening together. I had dinner with my awesome dad and sissy. For me, personally, that day was sooo great!

Today, I spent most of my last day of being 18 with myself. I don't know why, but I want it that way. I want to take more time with myself for hhm contemplation? lol :p 
What have I done this past year? Do I still remember every single happiness happened? What lesson have I learned? How mature I am now?
I cried much this year. I did some sort of stupid things. I missed some (precious) opportunity. I laughed much too. I even smiled while crying.
This year gave so many things to be learned. To make decision, to let go, to be patient, to work hard, to be strong, and to be grateful of everything. Perhaps the most wonderful thing happened this year is my story with this special someone, all those magic sayings are true :p Surprisingly, I end up with this guy, this guy who's been my best friend. We've been living separately, enjoyed our own way of life with the person we love. All those sunny days on May I will hardly forget, all thanks to you, for trying and patiently wait, for me. All thanks to you, love!

I won't nag about the bad things which also happened this year. Hhhm, I would like to thank all the persons who's been drawing their lines on my paper, person(s) who's been treating me so well, made me smile, kept my heart warm, protect me and save me from every bad things. I'm thankful for every sweet words, love lines, surprises, hugs, shoulder to cry on, and lap to sleep on. 

I guess I should spend my first day of the 19th without this guy.
I would surely be disappointed, put on my rotten face, acted silly or annoying if he couldn't be here with me years ago...

but for now,
I understand it's not about being together all the time. It's about what will happen if you can't be together all the time? Do you love your special someone only when he's near? or do you love him, because being with him... you can freely be yourself, laugh happily, cry as much as you can, and most importantly being with him, makes everything feels safe, right, and precious? I choose to be grateful, though he's not that near now, but he's in my life, and I know he thinks about me all the time, just like I think about him every second of the days.

Happiness isn't only about being with your special one. Knowing you still have lots of people who love and care of you. Your special one may be the biggest source of your happiness, the creator of the widest smile on your face. But believe me, your happiness which come from your special one will still come to you, even if he's not there with you. 

Hey, someone far away! I love you! and thanks for every unthoughtful act or word, for every silly joke, every unplanned day, for every sweet gift, cute nicks, and lastly for being in my life!

Thanks GOD for Your blessings upon my life! Guide me and help me to be the source of blessings for others! 


... and after all these, the 18th ends. Hello 19th! be good :)