this someone

Have you ever wondered how did I live these past 1125 days, loving someone who has never loved me in return...?


That one fine day was.. unforgettable for me. It was funny and breathtaking how we met for the second time in our life. We have been apart for years, but to finally meet you again, hhm it's magical. Okay, I couldn't find any proper word to describe, that one fine day.

How can I not be grateful? This wonderful person has been, my sunshine, my raindrops, my moonlight, my pinkish sky. My everything :)

This someone can speak right to my heart. And my heart was unconsciously, trapped. 5 or 6 months after that magical day, I knew my heart was captured perfectly by this someone. It's hard not to fall for this someone's smile :) that's reason #1. I'm worried that it will be hard for me to stop if I do continue to write down all the reasons why I love this someone. But, believe me, it isn't hard for me even if you ask me to write a thousand reasons! Sounds ridiculous, but that's the truth.

Life won't be good to you for the whole time. Sometimes, it can even stab you right in front of your face, it can take away all your happiness, and put all those tears on your face. That's what happened to me. Perhaps you never know how hard it was for me to keep smiling every time you happily told me about your special one, the one who created additional blush on your cheeks. How the wound got deeper and deeper when you 'left' me behind for this lightning, which struck out of nowhere.

But, nothing really changed much even after that lightning came into your life and took away your heart. I still love you overwhelmingly. Somehow this thing made every thing worked the way it shouldn't be, ah, the way I think it shouldn't be. I've always wondered, what am I to you? I am always by your side, just like the way you always stand close to me. Can we stay like this for...ever? Is it too much?

In the end, I confessed it to you, the way I love you without even knowing how to stop. The answer? of course, a rejection. I thought it would stop me. But until today, this hour, this minutes, this second, I haven't stopped loving you yet. It hurts, but the 'losing you' thing is more terrifying for me that I still stand on this path, the path where this someone is on. For now, call me this someone's shadow.

Dearest my masterpiece, you surely know how hard it is to let your 'everything' go, right? It's harder than the hardest thing. I can't easily stop loving you, this feeling won't simply disappear. But perhaps, sometime in the future, I'll be able to see this as a story that I'll momentary smile at. A memory.


A dedication.
To the "I" in this post.
A remembrance.
of a day on March
An answer to a question.
I'm thankful. For your love :)