bridge

been awhile since I posted the latest part of this story. In case you haven't read the previous parts, I'll take you there :p Verse Refrain Chorus


I'm still awake, yea, this late of night. I think the sound of raindrops outside has no longer been my lullaby. Think that I should be deaf, mute, blind, or even get an amnesia so that I can totally forget you.
Each time I make a step backward you step toward me. I make two steps backward, you take two. I keep making distance but in the end, I'm getting tired of counting, so I just stop, stay, and stare. But, you? You keep walking and searching for me. You keep saying sorry and ask for second chances, but to tell you the truth, I've given three chances, and for your further information, I don't want to be found, please just tell me, what should I do so that you'll stop looking for me. It's way too pathetic and annoying for me, you know? I truly understand, and that's so true if you said that I totally lost my mind and I'm such a heartless person. But, let me tell you some things.
First, the one who turned me into this person, is you. Second, I never lose my mind, I lost the key which I once used to lock my heart and feelings, Ah, I never lost it, I threw it away, I'm just too tired living with this stupid mind and feeling.

All those things above, I can tell 'em right in front of your face. But these things below, I can't and I won't either.

I learned one big thing from this love story. I never expect this to be happened. I was too sure to think that you'll leave me forever. Maybe the 'you-left-me' thing happened because of me. I lost my beliefs since long time ago. I'm the one who never trust you, the one who judge you all the time. I was searching for some maturity inside you, but the truth hit me right in front of my face that I neither have any maturity inside me. I'm just a child who tried my best to get all the attention without even trying to understand. I did every single thing I wanna do without enough considerations. I wished for a mature guy so that I can stay being this kind of child, so that he can always protect, guide, and listen to me. But I found you. They said it's because we always get what we need instead of what we want. I was and am disappointed of myself. For mixing all these things up. Perhaps, the first thing I have to learn is to believe, to be grateful of every single thing happened.

This time, this child, will just let you go. I listened to the 'birthday song' for the last time. I think I've been holding on to this closeness just long enough. You can keep on coming to me, but I've reached my final decision. It's to let you go. I'm sorry for everything. I'm not that strong, not that patient, and not brave enough to start it all over again.